December 18th ~ Grandmother Day

Once in a while something odd happens to make you think. And if I were as gullible as I was as a teenager I would probably freak out over this next story. December 18th is my special Grandmother Day. I am the only one who puts any thought into this day at all.

On this day in 1925, my mom's mom, Myrtle Nora Finley Dale died of TB. My mom barely remembered her as she was only 3 years old. Here is the video of my mom telling the story. I recorded this video Nov 2, 2007 on my mom's 85th birthday. With my mom's death Aug 6, 2008 all of Myrtle's children are dead. I suppose once in a while one of the grandchildren or even great-grandchildren might think of Myrtle, probably my cousin Rebbecca as she very sentimental about family and family objects. Myrtle's sister Willie married my grandfather and went on to have 5 more children, 3 of whom are still alive, and will be for many years as they are much younger than my mom was.

I know almost nothing about Myrtle, this is the only picture we have of her that I know of She resembles my mother and myself a bit. I suppose she had red hair and blue eyes like my mom did.



Next in the line of deaths only on December 18, 1954 (?) this time in Northern Ohio. Mary Skufsa Gerbic, born in Slovenia a former part of Yugoslavia. I have tried to find out more about my grandmother, Mary but she has been elusive as Myrtle has been.

I have a few pictures of Mary (this is her on the left) she is sitting with her granddaughter, my older sister Toni. The other woman is Toni's other grandmother.

I have heard quite a few stories about my grandmother, almost none of them pleasant. She spoke almost no English, drank a lot and was a lot of trouble for my father and his brother Victor. My dad didn't talk much about her, I remember him telling me that where she grew up it was so cold she used to sleep on top of the stove. When my father left for WWII he left behind a pregnant wife (the baby in the picture) and his mother. He moved to Salinas, CA (for reasons left for another blog) and almost never saw his mother again. I think he sent her money, they did write a bit, and my sister Mary is named for her. But I think it ends there.

Neither of these women had a good life, both lived a life of poverty, and I would expect very little education. I can only speculate on how different their lives would be if they lived now.

Now it gets a little weirder, enter Lillian Dahlberg Forsyth. She is my husband's (now ex) grandmother (on his father's side), from Connecittut. She lived here in town near us and we saw quite a bit of her. She had been a widow for many years when I met her, and also from a different world. Formal, Victorian, and delicate I could not picture her as young and exciting. I have all the family portraits (dated and organized) and know just what I can derive from the photos, newspaper clippings and family stories.

I include here two portraits I have of her, out of the many I have. She had an odd sense of humor, and would surprise us with her wit at times. I remember my husband telling me that she drove only one speed. 40 freeway or school zone. When he got her car, from the 60's it was in perfect shape and only had about 30K miles on it. Lillian volenteered at Salinas's two hospitals as a aid in the reception area. I can't quite remember how many hours, but it was over 1,000 hours. When she died on Dec 18, 1996 she was 89.

Lets just add another death of a grandmother to make things interesting. I was telling this story to Butch's mom and stepdad, when he went into another room and came back with the death certificate for his mom. You guessed it Dec. 18th. I think it was in 2000 as it was after Lillian but before my husband left me in 2002. I had met her a couple times, and no I don't have a picture. But I do have several letters and cards from her as she was quite a writer and I sent her pictures of my kids regulary. Her name escapes me at the moment (when I remember it I will update this) Her son (the stepdad I mentioned) had taken care of her in her elderly years, they had a nice apartment set up nearby them and would visit her daily. I remember going over with them on a visit (this was Carson City, NV) the room was very dark, I think she was nearly blind and didn't bother with lights. She was so sweet and very welcoming.

She worked for the government during WWII, not sure what but her son said she could not talk about it. He was her adopted son I found out later when after her death he tried to sell the family portraits to antique shops. They must have been a well-to-do family with lots of children. He said that he was the last and he didn't want all those pictures. I think he kept a few for himself but all the rest are gone.

If you have made it this far and think, WOW that is errie all of them died on the same day. It really isn't all that odd. If you think there is more to it than that then you are practicing retrofitting. This is when you already have the answer and try to find a link. The next two women who died, Betty DeBrouwer (my husband's other grandmother) didn't die on Dec. 18th, nor did my mother (who was a grandmother also).

So December 18th is my special day to remember these women whom I didn't know and imagine the day will come when I will join them. Maybe it will be Dec. 18th? Just not this year PLEASE!